tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28175944.post116969615906103761..comments2023-05-18T08:18:59.488-06:00Comments on The Kewl Beans Place: Adoption is bad? (or why I should just shut the hell up)Irshlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01592841277158422613noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28175944.post-1171332488483213172007-02-12T20:08:00.000-06:002007-02-12T20:08:00.000-06:00Interesting article, Anon. Thanks for the link. I ...Interesting article, Anon. Thanks for the link. I agree wholeheartedly with Mr. Pertman - "Adoptive parents aren't less good or better." We're just parents.Irshlashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01592841277158422613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28175944.post-1171323451316932302007-02-12T17:37:00.000-06:002007-02-12T17:37:00.000-06:00http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17119478/Study: Adopti...http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17119478/<BR/><BR/>Study: Adoptive parents more invested<BR/>Children get more time, financial resources than with biological<BR/>moms, dads<BR/>The Associated PressAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28175944.post-1171295407086899662007-02-12T09:50:00.000-06:002007-02-12T09:50:00.000-06:00FABULOUS! Really? People are discussing me outside...FABULOUS! Really? People are discussing me outside of this blog? I'm amazed. THANKS - really! I'm always amused when I can cause people to talk - even if it's about ME. <BR/><BR/>As far as AParents being trashed - same shit, different day. Truly. Isn't it ironic that I hear first mothers complain people pigeon hole them into unfair categories and stereotype their lives when they do that to AParents every single day. Glass houses.... glass houses. <BR/><BR/>They may be right. I may not know anything about adoption. I only know about mine. Then again, they know only about theirs. Anything else we both might know are the stories of others. We all choose to hear the ones we want to. <BR/><BR/>As for my ability to parent - I guess that's still up for debate, now isn't it. My stepsons seem to think I'm good at it. My two dead children probably didn't get much of a chance to form their opinion. My thoughts? Jury's still out. Check back in 20-30 years and I'll let ya know what I think. <BR/><BR/>For those feeling the need to trash me, hate it for ya. If you'd like a dialogue, stop by. Let's have a chat. I'm more than willing to hear what you've got to say. If it just makes you feel better to lash out and talk trash, that's okay, too. Whatever works.<BR/><BR/>So Anon, thanks for letting me know I'm making people talk. Maybe they're also taking a minute to think.Irshlashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01592841277158422613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28175944.post-1171295240278887312007-02-12T09:47:00.000-06:002007-02-12T09:47:00.000-06:00I had such a knock down, drag out with a birth mom...I had such a knock down, drag out with a birth mom blogger that it took something like 8 blog posts of mine and 4,000 words to detail how we managed to work out some of our differences in perception.<BR/>(Here's the link to the first:<BR/>http://international.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/spanning-the-divide-part-1)<BR/><BR/>The differences in POV are huge ... much greater than I would have ever expected before I adopted.<BR/><BR/>The biggest shock, however, was when a thirty-something grad student, adopted internationally as a child many years before, told me in no uncertain terms that anyone would be better off dead than adopted.<BR/><BR/>Silence as an invitation to talk. What a concept.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28175944.post-1171294513455786522007-02-12T09:35:00.000-06:002007-02-12T09:35:00.000-06:00You've done it now! This post is being re-posted i...You've done it now! This post is being re-posted in places where adult adoptees can attack you, saying you nothing about adoption, AND parenting, as well. That's the spin du jour, anyway.<BR/><BR/>Of course, this is on a group that insists no one repeat a word of what they say there. "Shhhhhh. Don't tell the AParents that we trash them daily!"<BR/><BR/>It's a nasty old adoption world, isn't it?<BR/><BR/>Should increase your hits, though.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28175944.post-1170872084526627042007-02-07T12:14:00.000-06:002007-02-07T12:14:00.000-06:00Adoption is a challenging topic, especially becaus...Adoption is a challenging topic, especially because it is so personal to each person's experience. <BR/><BR/>I occassionally read the anti-adoption stuff just so that I can remind myself to be realistic about my children's adoption experience and educate myself a little. It's certainly disheartening at times, but I try to "intellectualize" the data and put it away for the future.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28175944.post-1169872015792245602007-01-26T22:26:00.000-06:002007-01-26T22:26:00.000-06:00Whew, I feel better, I was worried that I had gone...Whew, I feel better, I was worried that I had gone a little overboard with my own comments to my post.<BR/><BR/>This subject is one that is really challenging, I've got a post brewing on it myself, and just can't get it organized. I think that's an example of just how challenging it is. But for me anyway it's an important one, so I'll keep trying.<BR/><BR/>Thanks so much for the kind words :)Third Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06310395341252295955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28175944.post-1169827879363862902007-01-26T10:11:00.000-06:002007-01-26T10:11:00.000-06:00OMG – Let me begin by saying that I definitely was...OMG – Let me begin by saying that I definitely wasn’t aiming my comments at any one person / entity! I absolutely ADORE ThirdMom and it stuns me to think that I might have offended her. (So mea culpa to ThirdMom if it sounded like I was doling out the mud!) Ironically, I posted a comment on her page while I was already working on this post. It was a culmination of many thoughts over various days based on various posts I’d read and comments I’d left around the ‘sphere. I posted my comment on her page then later visited her sight to see a reply to me. <BR/><BR/>Speaking of, thanks ThirdMom for the points to ponder. I guess I never really considered the concept of aparents being held to a higher standard. I’m still trying to grasp the idea that I and the first mom aren’t on equal footing, at least when it comes to the adoption. (Please, no tar and feathers folks!) Every day I am learning more and more and admit that some of my ideas are changing. I truly appreciate those souls who are willing to be patient. ThirdMom is one of those precious people who are helping to bridge the gap. Thank you again!Irshlashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01592841277158422613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28175944.post-1169779610480976942007-01-25T20:46:00.000-06:002007-01-25T20:46:00.000-06:00Yikes - I apologize if this one's aimed in my dire...Yikes - I apologize if this one's aimed in my direction. I hope I didn't give the impression I was disregarding your comment yesterday - if so, it was unintended. I know I sometimes preach, and apologize if I came across that way.<BR/><BR/>I welcome your comments, and the dialog. I hope you'll keep stopping by.Third Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06310395341252295955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28175944.post-1169749347498855722007-01-25T12:22:00.000-06:002007-01-25T12:22:00.000-06:00I'm right there with you Irshlas. Just keep in min...I'm right there with you Irshlas. Just keep in mind that those who blog about bad adoption experiences are the very small minority. Also, as you continue to read these blogs carefully, you'll see why the individual feels the way they do about their particular situation.MomEtc.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11318169504182991122noreply@blogger.com