Monday, September 25, 2006

It's a match!

We received word today that our DNA testing was completed and it's a match! With this step completed, we are now in the process of setting up a visit trip. I can't believe that in just a few weeks I will meet my son !!

On a bittersweet note, I realize that this means his birthmother has signed off again on his relinquishment. She had to be present for the DNA testing. Often this is the first time the birthmother has seen her child since the birth or maybe a few days after. Once again, I can't imagine how she must have felt or how she is still feeling. I continue to wish her nothing but peace in her decision. I have no idea what circumstance brought her to this decision. I won't second guess her. I only wish her peace and comfort and hope that, at some point, she can know how loved her son truly is and will be.

So tonight, I'm once again elated and saddened at the same time. After more than a decade of waiting, just a few more weeks and I will hold this precious little man!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Adoption news!!!

I just returned from a really crappy business trip this evening. I brought along the laptop, but of course the "high speed internet connection" promised by my crappy hotel was a complete bust. No email? No blogs? WHHHAAAATTTT??? So I had to resort to reading a book. For shame!

Upon my return to civilization, I logged on to check out what was going on in the blogosphere... and my email inbox. To my surprise (and joy!), I found a bunch of pictures of my little man courtesy the agency! He is still a chubby bunch of love with a head full of hair. Hubby and I were all smiles to have this unexpected happy. He's so beautiful and looks to be healthy.

About an hour after finding this bit of good news the phone rings. It was our agency. We've got DNA authorization!!!!!!! For those in the know, one of the steps in the process for our adoption is authorization from the U.S. Embassy for DNA to be taken of the birthmother and child. It's one of those nifty little steps that ensures the birthmother is relinquishing her own child. Sadly, it's often the first time she has seen the child since his/her birth. I can't imagine what her state of mind must be at this point. I can only wish her peace in this life altering decision.

For us, although somewhat bittersweet, we are thrilled beyond belief to have this next step down. Once the testing is done and the results are confirmed, we will be planning to take a visit trip to Guatemala. Just think...... in about a month I could be holding my son for the first time. I'm absolutely stunned!

What a wonderful way to end today!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Q and A

I realized that sometimes blogs just have random information. There doesn’t always need to be some major, heart-stopping event to share. I’d like to rant about work right now but honestly I’m too freakin’ tired to go into it. I do promise to share more on my current employment site because….. IT SUCKS.

But in the interest of saving my current mental health, fragile as it may be, I thought I would be kind enough to answer some questions. You see, there have been a few very, VERY kind people who have taken the time to drop by, read the blog and even COMMENT ! What wonderful people you are! It makes me happy to know that maybe, just maybe, people are interested in what’s going on in my life. So, on to the questions:

Art Sweet asked:
1. Why are you living somewhere you don't like (so am I)? Where SHOULD home be for you?

Glad that you asked. I’m not sure exactly where I should be living. If you notice a previous post, you will see what was left of my beloved house previously located in Biloxi, Mississippi. Alas, she is no more. No house insurance, no flood insurance, no government money – ZIP. Don’t believe the hype. Not every person who suffered due to Katrina is now buying season tickets and pouring Dom Perignon in their dog’s water dish. Some of us ended up with JACK SQUAT. (And before you ask, no, the government – aka you, the tax payer - is NOT funding my international adoption. My daddy is. Sometimes fathers can fix their daughter’s broken hearts; sometimes they can’t. My daddy decided his retirement was worth fixing my broken heart.)

So, I am now living somewhere else as my dearly beloved is currently in law school. He lives here, ergo I live here. I can’t even begin to tell my dear readers how much this city sucks ass. (Although, I promise to enlighten in further posts.) Suffice it to say, I don’t like living here and I can’t wait to leave.

2. Why Guatemala?

I won’t be kitschy and say “because that’s where my son is” although it’s what I tell strangers. As a fellow Guatemama, I know that you asked for a reason. I think we chose Guatemala for a variety of reasons. Here are but a few:
· Hispanic culture: Both hubby and I have ties to Hispanic culture through our extended family. Mexico, Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, to name a few countries our family members share ancestry from. In essence, our son won’t feel out of place surrounded by his cousins.
· Process: We liked the adoption process in Guatemala. We both have serious issues with government involvement in most things. We liked the fact that the adoption process is a private matter between the adoptive parents and the birth mother through an attorney. Also, to be fair, it’s a short timeline when compared to other countries.
· Foster care: Babies in Guatemala generally remain in foster care in a family rather than in an orphanage. I am very familiar with developmental delays as that is the field in which I work. The fewer our son develops, the better for his long-term health.
· Travel: Selfish, yes, but honest. Neither one of us could afford (financially, physically, academically) to be out of country for weeks on end. The fact that the trips to Guatemala are short in duration makes this whole process possible. Maybe in the future this won’t be a factor, but for now, that’s our reality.

3. What kinds of blog set-up questions do you have?

I haven’t managed to put a big list together just yet. I’d like to begin adding some cute graphics, etc. that might let me readers know what ideas/issues interest me. (A rainbow flag or banner reading “THE ONLY BUSH I TRUST IS MY OWN” on the blog makes a pretty powerful statement without having to write a lot of explanation, don’t cha think?) Obviously I don’t think many are reading so text is probably fine for now. But I do like shiny things.

Oh, and how to make a list of the blogs I read that will post here somewhere on a permanent basis. There are so many creative people that I read daily and I’d love to share the love. (Is that politically correct? Or am I supposed to ask permission to do that? I always wonder that.)

4. Why "hopeful step-mom"?

Wow – this girl is perceptive! I’m sure I will get around to explaining the current stepmother situation that I now find myself in. To answer in short: I am stepmother to two wonderful boys, who are 14 and 12, respectively. They live in Europe with their biological mother. She is a waste of carbon. One of the boys lives in the care of the state in a foster home. The other still lives at home with her and “roommate” du jour. I hate the situation they are in and I / we are powerless to change it at the present time. That being said, my hope is that one day I will have the chance to be a positive force in their lives on a regular basis. Even more so, I hope that one day they may actually come to love me. Until then, I can be hopeful for them and their future. There’s so much more to this saga and I’m sure it will make a lovely set of posts to explain. Of course, that is if I have any readers who actually want to know the story…… time will tell.

Thanks for playing Q and A!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006


The FedEx package arrived at 9:30am, 9/01/06. My dearly beloved called me at work to announce its arrival. I dropped what I was doing and rushed home…. only 1.5 miles one-way. (Yeah for working lclose to home!) He had waited to open the package until I got home. Together, we pulled out the pictures of our beautiful baby boy. Yes, I know all parents think their child is beautiful. I, however, generally think that most babies are hideous. (Sorry, they just are – all wrinkled and squirmish looking. They remind me of aliens.) But this little boy was breathtaking!! Our little boy!

We took out the video and rushed to the bedroom to watch. (The VCR is in the bedroom.) There he was… wiggling on his little Winnie-the-Pooh blanket. He had the hiccups, poor thing, but he just silently wiggled. He tried to move his legs when he was on his stomach, as if to get up. He was only three weeks old and already trying to run around! We were surprised at how big he was. By Guatemalan standards, he’s pretty big. We both commented on his long feet and strong legs. (I see soccer player in his future!)

I have to admit I expected to burst into tears. I expected to be hysterical. Strangely, I simply felt calm. My thoughts were, “Okay – there he is.” I’ve been waiting all of my adult life for him to arrive. Shouldn’t I be jumping up and down, freaking out, screaming like a banshee? Apparently not. This was it. Quiet awe at the television screen.

We’ve formally accepted his referral and now the wait begins. We’ve done everything we can on our end. We now wait for the Guatemalan government to approve the adoption and make it final. I don’t know what kinds of updates we’ll get and how much time will elapse between them. Right now, I’m just hoping the wait isn’t too long. The first step in the adoption process in Guatemala, more or less, is the DNA testing. Hopefully that will be completed in the next few weeks. Obviously I’ll update when I can. For now, I’ll spend time staring at the few pictures I have and re-watching the three-minute video clip of MY son.