Saturday, November 03, 2007

Gender issues already

I’m already trying to think ahead for Christmas and get presents picked out early. I can’t promise that I will have them purchased in a timely manner. I’d just like to have an idea of what I’m looking for prior to the 23rd of December. This will be Gallo’s first Christmas with us and I wanted to get him something he would really like. (He’ll be 15 months in a few days. At this point, the boy likes empty toilet paper rolls and Tupperware! ) It just so happens, as I was meandering down the aisle at Wallyworld, I noticed an interesting box. It was a talking kitchen. A TALKING KITCHEN! It has a stove and refrigerator and play food. The doors open; the appliances talk; the boy will love it! Let the gender issues begin.

I mention this wonderful present idea to my co-workers who promptly inform me that I will “make him gay” if I buy him this kitchen. Yes folks, cooking = homosexual tendencies. I was floored. Forget the whole concept that you can’t make people gay. (I didn’t even try to explain this idea.) I simply tried to point out that cooking in a kitchen couldn’t possibly make a 15-month old child gay. I explained that his father does all of the cooking in our house and Gallo LOVES to be in the kitchen with his papa. This had no effect. (Which I found odd as I also made it very clear that Mr. Beans is definitely of the heterosexual persuasion. I even included diagrams and flowcharts.) They weren’t buying my story. I then tried to explain that Gallo loves talking toys. The voices make him laugh and he tries to imitate them. (This is important, as I am a bit concerned about his language development at this point.) Gallo also loves the concept of putting items into things – like putting plastic rings into boxes or pulling clothes out of dresser drawers. The whole cause-and-effect game can keep him entertained for a long time.

Nope. None of this mattered. If I buy the boy the kitchen, I’ll make him gay. In the end, I capitulated for the sake of the argument. I finally asked what would be so bad if he were gay? I might as well have asked what was so bad about Hillary Clinton while dining at an RNC fundraiser. Deer-in-headlights was the expression on most faces; others looked horrified.

Have I mentioned how much I can’t wait to move? Three weeks and counting……

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